somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize