i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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