I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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