Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I currently don't understand fingers.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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