i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize