you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
