Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize