I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
