You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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