every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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