I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
