Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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