party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
