Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
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You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
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Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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