my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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