never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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