how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
