for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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