So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
