You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
