He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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