i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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