He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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