I'm going to jail i love you
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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