the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We have started to decorate penises.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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