Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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