you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
