I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
