why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
