i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I need to calm my uterus...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
