I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
