im six kinds of drunk right now
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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