What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
