And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
