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is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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