She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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