we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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