ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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