So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
