I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
