If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
