The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
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We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
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I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just puked most of my soul out..
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