I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize