i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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