listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
