I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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