So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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