So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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