I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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