U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
