high people should be assigned attendants
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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