This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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