do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
