We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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