took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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