I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
