I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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