Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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