I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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