Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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